Things wun work out unless u make an effort to make it work out...

I QUIT! I OFFICIALLY QUIT THE COMPETITION! Thats it... Dun remind me of that thing again... All my team members strongly agreed to the dismissal of the team. Yeah... So thats it... Well now it will be a little hard to get back to all my plans... Maybe i should come up with a new one... Today is one fruitful day for me. Not only i get to quit the competition i learn about many many new things... Not a gd thing to say here but i guess i cannot stop ppl from stabbing me since i do stab ppl sometimes... Yup... Thats pretty much... I am so free now!!! Like a bird out of the cage!!! *Fly away*
ARGH! I HATE MY SCHEDULE!!

The more i look at the schedule the more i pek chek... I should be very free de... This competition really destroyed all my plans sia... WTH... 1st time i plan wat to do in my holiday... Then its out to destroy it... Really envy those that can go enjoy, earn money, play and have fun... Y? Y? Y? Somebody tell me y like that???? Y can't i have a proper break like everyone else... Did i not work hard enough? Did i do anything wrong? Is getting gd results wrong? Y does everything that i do seems so wrong? Bad results in sec sch get look down on... Gd results now... ppl start to... I dun even want to mention... Those bunch of elephants... If my results aren't gd i dun believe i have wat i am treated now... Fine. Fine. Nothing will improve no matter how i pry into the matter... Like wat my bff say... Ganbatte! All i can blame is my ill fated life...
Why am i thinking so much... I guess i will just go with the flow...

Today slack whole day sia... After this wk i wonder if i have another chance to do that... haha... *Yawn* Nothing to talk about today... Thats all...
有花生吃总好过没有花生吃

Another day of intensive training is over... Soooo tired until i lazy to mention wat happen. Went to town after that to find meirong, serlin, mad and tim. Meirong left shortly after i reach cos she meeting a friend for dinner. So the rest of us went to eat the hong kong cafe in ion. The curry chicken is not bad while the western dun really sound gd after tim gave his comment. They wanted to go halo bar later but then alvin never reply. After tim left then alvin reply. Serlin immediately sian den she and mad start calling and scold him for dunno how long sia... So funny la... Dun really have energy to join in today. Emo all the way cos i cannot hear wat they both talking... haha... They continue shopping until 9pm. Yeah.. I am weak at shopping... But i dun mind following them since going out with them might not be happening anytime soon... Haha... With that super duper busy schedule of mine... Its a goner...
Intensive training from 8am to 8pm... I think they meant intensive torturing?

Today went to sch for that security competition training... It was boring except the practical... Haiz... Security is not easy man... Then later i saw the schedule... OMG... From today onwards until the end of the competition.. I have 1 month of intensive training everyday except wkend... Got 5 days of super intensive trial run from 8am to 8pm... Haiz... Wat can i do? Attend loh... After that still got 2 ibm course... WTH!!!!!! B4 i finish the ibm thing i think i die of tiredness le la... Wa sian la... K la... Dun 1 say le... Damn sian...
I need to wake my bloody idea up...

Today is the last time of my long awaited holiday... My hellish sch life has not ended... Infact it just started... Training for competition begins tmr!!!!!!!!! OMG... The moment i think of it i sian diao... Haiz... Y did i ever agree to this com sia... Now i really regret it... Force by 2 high rank teacher how i can ever disagree? Haiz... I guess is fated man... Things always dun go well for me... Even the date is so accurate to clash with every single plan of mine... WTH... Maybe i am fated to stay simple and alone... Or rather things dun happen when i dun care about it... But nothing gd will always come out when i try to do something... Staying at home too long made me more emo sia... Hmm... I guess going to sch tmr is consider an "outing"... Though is a depressing outing... Hey look on the bright side... I am not alone... Yeah... Maybe...
Just wat am i missing...

The same old thing slacking at home... Haiz... I wonder hows everyone is doing right now... Some working some playing some slacking some still having exam... I dun even know wat i am suppose to do now... I stay at home until sian sia... It seems like everybody is doing their own things right now... Wonder hows my bff doing now after MIA for so long... Haiz... Sure miss the how we spend time in beijing... The good things definitely overweigh the bad things there... Haiz... Good things never last do they? Once b4 i said i dunno if going to beijing is a good thing or not... I could not give a direct answer... But... I guess if i did not go there i wun have such a nice bff now... haha... not to mention all the friends i made there... It was from then on i became different from wat i use to be... That is the reason i keep thinking that going for this trip is gd or bad... Of cos there are other major reasons but yeah... Haiz... I dun even know wat i am talking erm typing... Well... Off to enjoy the last 2 days of my holiday! Cya!!
Holiday ends at 27 Aug... WTF sia...

Early in the morning... I receive an sms... Training starts 27 Aug 9am... WTF?!?!?!?! Thats fast!!!! 1st i am force to enter this competition. Next i am force to end my holiday early for this competition... Hey!!! Let me have a break can???? Though i am rotting at home does not mean u can end my holiday THIS early... OMG... >.< They are a freaking bunch of ppl who like to torture ppl huh... Haiz... I already cannot work... Dun do this to me leh... Holiday? My foot! ppl 2 months holiday can go work and enjoy... I leh? 1 wk holiday cannot work only rot at home... then have to go back to sch and training when other ppl are having holiday... HAIZ... Crap... Pure crap... Super duper fed up... Right... I need to calm down... This really is crap la... Luckily i never plan anythin this wk... Or else all gone again... Y am i always controlled by ppl... Can you just let me do my own things once in a while?? I never had the chance since last yr... Stuff up with work every single day... Okok... I gonna stop here... Or i will vent my anger and flood my blog liao...
Tired of rotting...

*Yawn* Another day to rot at home... Nothing much to do these days... I wanna earn money leh... Rather than rot and wait... Haiz... Now must combine the 3 of us the essay together... Its really starting to get boring... This will probably be the 1st time i get bored so fast... OMG... I really am poisoned... This is so not like me... Hmm... Aiya dun care la... Today is the 4th day le... You can do it! My bff wun fall that easily de... Haha... Haiz... Running of of juice on wat to blog liao sia... It raining and raining this few days... Rainy days really spoil mood de loh... I stare at com and psp and ds until damn tired loh... Played enough le... Must find something else to do... But then wat else can i do man... This few days so locked up... Competition all this... HAIZ.... 别谈了... Things always dun work well for me... Just have to live on as much as i can... Ganbatte!! To me, my BFF and all my friends and family!! Ok... I am going crazy le so i am going to stop blogging... Cya =P
No matter from which angle... I realise things just can't work out...

I dun have to mention wat happen today... Its just copy and paste yesterday and take out the competition... It was another day to slack and emo at home. Just like old times... Haha... Things do get alittle boring sometimes... I really dunno wat i 1 sia... This also 1 that also 1... Zzzz... In fact the things that i 1 always wun appear de... But then the opposite always happen... That change my mind to always think of the worst possible scenario first. So sometimes i do exaggerate alittle on the situation... Can't blame me for that since i always kanna the worst 1... Haha... Seems like this holiday my plans are all foiled... I dun like to plan but i guess even if i plan it will always be foiled... Wa now think of 1 to write that stupid essay also sian...

Work on the 200 words writeup to explain why should your team be selected to participate in this secure coding competition. You can include your interests, aspirations, programming background, past coding experiences, or even past projects.

WTH is this man... Wat for write a load of crap to them when they know we are submitting crap? Just dun understand... Anyway they invited me to go sentosa tmr... I wonder if i want to go since i got this stupid competition... I guess my poor bff wun be able to attend it too... She is in a much worst situation than me... So wat am i to complain? Haha... Its just too bad... Thats life... Ok... Thats all... Cya...

Those who watch where got ghost u have to watch this!! Is hilarious!!



Money not enough 2 version! Hahaha!!


Can't help but worry...

Today is such a free day sia... I have not felt so free for so long already... Nuff with the FYPJ... No more mentioning of it... Woke up at 1pm... Haven got such a nice sleep for so long... Wanted to go for lunch... *VROOM* Thunder and start raining... 0.0 My free day starts with such a glommy sky... By rite good mood de then the sky give me a black face... Haiz... Made me worry about my bff... Wonder hows she is doing rite now... Feel so sad for her... Anyway the moment i came back from lunch... Teo called me... JOIN COMPETITION... She pester me for soooo long until i gave in... Same goes for nicholas, wing and xh... haha... So stupid sia... from 1 sept until 23 sept busy!!! There goes my holiday... I wanna work de leh... But maybe can work sat or sun... Have to see ba... Going broke from watching movie and going out... Haiz... Thats all... Hope she is better now... Too bad i cannot do anything to help but to support her... Haha... Ok.. Cya...
Start of the 7th month... Some things are good while unforunate things cannot be avoided...

Today is the start of the 7th month. Which is the 1st year that my birthday did not fall on the 7th month. I receive an unfortunate news this morning. It was really sad that it had to happen now. I prayed for him too... Hope u are feeling better now as i blog... Right... Now to better news... My dist presentation today... I was glad that my presentation went out much better than my final and mid term. But the thing is all the commando there arm with machine gun... No matter wat u do whether right or not... They will just open fire. Tio shoot until a few holes in my body when drink water everything flow out... Ok enough of lameness... Went to watch Orphan after presentation. It was not bad it u are thrilled by it... I was able to predict it so its ok to me. So like amusement sia... Now i know y mad like it... Haha... It was her kind of show... Ok... I am sooo tired... I said lots of cheer up today... Lazy to think of other words when my brain(almost type brian =P) is not working... Ok... Cya!
Aug 20th... Distinction Presentation...

Title says it all... Doing the stupid ppt now... Nuff said...
I never get tired of reading my old blog records... Its so stupid la...

I am 20 yrs old now. Do i feel any different? I dun really think so u know. I went back to read my old blog records... I realise my life did change alot... I am starting to live like normal person at least for now. Even my parents said i hate changed. I wun participate in all this kind of activities last time like watch movie go out and celebrate birthday. It feels... So different... Dun look like myself at all... I kinda like it more than my past... Though i always say i am use to be alone... Being alone sure is painful... No friends, no trust, no nothing. You know i am really thankful to the bunch of friends i have now... Kim teck, Johnny, Mei rong, Madeline just to name a few. I think my BFF change me the most ba... Make me become more thick skin now... Though i haven know her for a year... I know it will be 364 days of endless torture. The one day will be my birthday... Haha... I have set up my old blog records. Those stalkers who 1 to stalk my past... Stalk silently and laugh silently too though i dun think is funny... Haha... Haiz... I still got ppt to do... How sia... Someone help????
20th birthday was so touching...

My 20th birthday has ended. If i want to describe it... Speechless... Today... My BITC friends went to celebrate my birthday today. In the morning i went to sing k with kim teck, jeremy, johnny, meirong, madeline, serlin, xinyi and ziying... From 11 to 530... I sang until no voice sia... They paid for my expense in singing K... I was sooo reluctant to let them pay... Then we went to eat steamboat... Serene, audrey, brian, siew li, alvin and ms yarny join in during the steamboat... Then they bought me a cake and sing happy birthday to me... So touched!! They even prepared present for me. All of them shared a wallet for me. Mei rong orgaise this outing... Brian gave me a tie... Ms yarny gave me a normination for distinction presentation. Madeline!! She personally made me a birthday card... I was super touched la... Nobody has ever done that for me b4. *sob* I wun cry! Not b4 someone cry! Haha... It was really the best day ever in my life... It was so good that i am still trying to digest wat happen today... Everything does seem like i am dreaming all these times... I really cannot describe how i feel today... I was really really happy and touched by all of them including my class bbq 2 days ago... It was my best birthday ever... Thank you everyone!! THANKS!!!




Brian's tie gift! Though the photo dun look good...




I did not know this was branded stuff until today...




Yeah.. I know the photo you take is very nice... Haha...





Done by my beloved BFF!!



Thank you everyone!!
Earthquake!!

Today is sunday man... It a day for slacking and resting... I was playing my game halfway when i start shaking around... I thought ok... I played too much.. Its time for rest. Then i lie on my bed and still continue to shake... Eh... WTH... I get up and go to my living room and saw everything shaking la... I thought why i keep shaking sia... Stupid earthquake... A magnitute 7 earthquake hit indonesia today... Enough to cause SG to shake. I cannot imagine one day if a magnitute of 9 hit... Dunno SG can tahan the impact anot... I still remember the 7.9... Its super scary... Cannot even stand straight... Whats the world coming these days sia... We have so many earthquake hitting SG, strongest wind blowing in SG and a watersprout appearing... If SG also got so many disaster liao then other countries how sia... A tai feng hit taiwan also... World record strongest wind somemore... I know y my parents dun let me go overseas now... Its really dangerous these few days... Its just u want to risk or not to go... Anyway, thats all for today... Few more mins b4 my birthday... 20 soon... How will my 20 go? We shall see in a few minutes time...
Thank you all for your advance celebration of my birthday!!

ITS HOLIDAY!!!!! FYPJ is over!! Yesterday FYPJ final presentation was not a smooth one... Its so hard to present. But nvm... I am happy with an A. Enough already... Went to watch Where Got Ghost after FYPJ yesterday with kim teck, johnny, brian, serlin, mei rong, siew li and madeline. The show combine horror with comedy. To me the movie is not bad... But only singaporeans will understand the jokes. Haha... U can laugh 1 min and shocked next min... Then we went walking at north point then i ate supper with some of them b4 going back and sleep my long awaited rest... Today i went for class bbq... They bought alot of food! The thing that suprise me the most is they actually bought cake to celebrate me and meng chen birthday!! OMG... I dunno how to react when they start singing happy birthday to me sia... Tio stun la... Really thanks man... Never had this kind of thing for more than 10 yrs already... Haha... It was super unexpected... I had never treat birthday seriously... All these turn of event really made me unable to catch up... Even my parents bought a bag for me... Phew... I need time to digest man... I am lost already... What do i actually want... I am still in a mess now... Need to start sorting it out now... Ok... I going eat supper liao... BBQ the more i eat the hungrier i get... Cya!!

I dunno wat i want anymore...


Tmr is the last day le... I should be happy! Slack time lo... But am i? I really dun have the rights to say ppl sia... i am being weird myself too... What was i thinking, wat was i trying to do... None of it make any sense... I hate thinking back... But i know is inevitable... This sem really really change me alot... Change to a point where i realise i cannot catch up... I am lagging behind it... I hate that feeling... Its the world most irritating feeling that u cannot get rid of... I know one day i will regret it like wat happen b4... I dun care anymore... I will brace throught it... Like i have always been... It will all end someday... Its just when will that someday come... Where everything will just turn back to normal...
I feel like i am always waiting...

Its 12 man... Soooo sleepy... Dun feel like doing project leh... WTH... I have been waiting and waiting... Starting i need to wait for yarny to pass me the file. Then i need to wait for mmt team to finish. Now i need to wait for my team member to finish. WTF! There is enough things that i am waiting in my life liao... Now still wait and wait. Bear with it man... Just 2 more days! And i really slack all the way liao. Haven been resting well for very long liao. Haiz... Lunch was with Mad, Meirong and 本大人 Ms Yarny herself. She was giving us life lessons FOC... She talk about how ppl commit suicide cos of relationships then all the siao ja bor and siao ta por at home fight then go to office slap each other then push here and there... Erm... Sound very wrong leh... Haha... Nvm... As long as u dun think dirty... =P Yarny declare her hotline open to us if we got any problem contact her even if it is midnight she will stick seriously talk... Haha... Ask her project immediately hang up... 现实 sia... She initially call it helpdesk... I sian tiao... Then she change to hotline... Haha... And last but not least:

Proud to be a fan of the anti-elephant gang club!(And you know wat i mean... =P)

Ok la... I going sleep liao... Nites!!
I am happy to receive compliments... but i know my standard... haha...

Today... Nothing much interesting except for the joke about someone jumping in the middle of the national day parade a fews years ago... That was super hilarious... Haha... MMT team finally send me supposingly all for now. Its the last wk of FYPJ. Like i have predicted. They send me all at the last wk. Haiz. Things are not going well now. I wonder wat ms yarny is going to brief us. If it is about adding to sharepoint and doing ppt all this. I am going to need to overwork already. I have yet to integrate xy and kq work sia. Haiz...... Oh... B4 i forget! I am so grateful to my parents for buying a pre present for me. A new bag! I was so shocked! That i even forget to thank them when i receive it! Hahaha!! That was cool. It was a long time i ever receive anything to make me so happy. I am going to take my BTT next wk... I think i confirm going book a trial test. They say until so hard to pass. Now make me so scared. Haha... Driving leh... Not really my interest since i have no car. Haha.. It makes it harder to pass... But then i have to get it sooner or later wat... The thing is the fees to learn driving... *sob* I am definitely going to earn lots of money next time... I really wonder how did my family went through all the saving just to manage the household and everything... I really salute my father sia... Pei fu pei fu... Bcos of me and my bro, he cannot afford a car... I am going to make sure he can the next time i finish my studies and start working... But then still so long la... Haiz... Wa! So long liao... I better stop now... Cya!!!
I solve bugs everyday...Even on the dining table...

Today went out to do project and ppt. Start helping mei rong to solve bug. Until lunch. I found a bug. A BUG!! I found a bug in my rice bowl during lunch! WTH!!! Why am i finding bugs everywhere i go... Haiz... Thats the most interesting thing of the day. I am very tired now... Not blogging anymore... Zzzzzz......
Best friends must be forced... Hahaha...

*YAWN* Its 1 AM now... I should be sleeping now... But then i am still doing my documentation... WTH!!! Tmr is monday liao... WK 12!!! Last wk of the semester!! Lets just get the presentation over and celebrate! Ok... I going to finish up my things and go to sleep... Tmr still need wake up early... kk... Cya!
Ugh... I just hate that dreadful feeling...

Y? It wasn't suppose to. I never wanted to feel it again. I really hate it. Maybe i wasn't suppose to come back to reality. Then all this will never happen. Its feels so much like a dream. Like countless dreams being pieced together. Forming a reality that i always hope for. But now i realise. I would rather keep it as a dream. Never wanted it to become reality. Its just too much for me to handle. I hate myself even more now. Hate it for being so useless. I am turning 20. No matter how much i hated reality, i have to face it. Running and running... I know i am not alone now. There are ppl that i know i can trust them as how they trusted me. Its just after the whole world going against me its hard to see the small bit of ppl that are not part of the majority going against me after they exhaust me of my worth to them. I really dunno wat i want and what i should do. I guess my inner self have not change after all. If one day i lose the ones that i have start to trust, i am positive that i am not going to trust anything or anybody again. Saturday... A perfect day to emo...

Mood : Emo
1 more week to go!

Yeah! Like i say 1 more wk! Haiz... Dun 1 to talk about project liao. Just want to get it over with! AND HOLIDAY!!!! Waaaa... Damn tired sia... Tmr is SAT... No Sch! Confirm sleep until the sun pass the middle of the sky also dunno. Be it past or present, there is no point thinking about it now. Just go with flow and decide when the time comes! Yeah! Thats all... Cya!

Mood : Very Tired
The wall is replying again!!

Actually i dun have anything much to say today leh... MMT team never send me anything today... DUN DELAY LE LAH... I very scared cannot finish this wk leh... Haiz... Nic, wing and weina finish presenting le... Serene also... So good!!!! No stress liao... Mad meirong they all go bowling today but then meirong go there do coding. Haha... Ok la... Dun feel like blogging today. Cya...

Mood : Tired
Past VS Present VS Future - Which is better?

Yeah... Which is better? I hate the past cautious of the present and afraid of the future. Wow... So pathetic sia... haha... I browse through some of my old blog records just now... They were so hilarious! I cannot imagine me writing all those sia... Hahaha... So damn stupid... To think how much my life has change this few years... Though i dunno how long the present me will last... I really hope it will stay on and cherish every moment of my life. The future might never be the same again... Wa lao eh... So emo sia... OK! I wonder y am i blogging everyday now... I use to blog every 1 to 2 months... Haha... Really nothing to say de loh... Now so talkative liao... Erm typotive... haha... Eh... I miss my emo self leh... Always hating everythin and everyone... No worries no need to care go where or do wat... No need to think of wat friends, birthday and everything i can think of... Just stay at home and rot! haha! Actually i also wonder when did i become less emo liao sia... When i think back i really really think differently of wat i always use to think now... Good or bad? I dunno... More good than bad perhaps...
TMD!! Y still so emo!! ARGH!! I go do project liao... Dun 1 blog liao... Haha! Cya!

Mood : emo?
I am alive!! =P

Today was ok la... Nothing very gd nothing very bad... But i learn more about quite a number of things that i am in doubt with... haha... The world is full of different ppl... Where can u find such a nice person like me? Wahahaha!!! Shit... I think i am poisoned... My skin getting thicker after being tortured so much... Haha!!! Ok la... Dun 1 say liao la... Later somebody keep saying i always scold her... But i rather get scolded than to stay there and *ahem* watch RA movie... That does not mean u can scold me hoh!!! Hahaha!!! Mad drive me and meirong today... Ok la... Her driving skills are not bad after just pass yesterday... BUT THEN HOH... Meirong keep saying things that made us laugh... OMG... I really should have bought life insurance la... Hahaha... Luckily we are quite immuned to her jokes liao... Or else i dun think i can make it out alive... =P Just kidding... Back to business! Yarny now ask me to do so many things loh... User manual and documentation about web 2.0!!! ARGH!!! I really regretted saying the word i want to aim for dist... *Sob* Now i need to do so many things loh... Aiyo... 2 more wks man... Chiong until die... Then holiday slack until die... Wait, how can i die 2 times? Ah! Too tired liao... *Yawn* I still need to choing project T_T Ok la... Very long liao... Going bathe first... Cya!

Mood : Sooooooo tired
Spare a thought for the others!

Right! My internet hang just now... Watever i type is gone! Nvm... I dun think its appropriate to post that anyway =P A title is enough to summrise everything... I am suppose to continue project now! But i just have to fill up right? O ya! I know wat to put! MAD pass her driving test!!! CONGRATS!!! For a moment i thought she going to sleep while driving since she is always sleeping... Haha... Cool sia... I am still at the BTT stage... Haven even take la... haha... Slowly ba... I dun think i am that fast in learning driving than computer stuff... She going drive to sch tmr eh... I better go buy insurance 1st b4 going to sch and avoid the road as much as possible incase her pass is fake... Heh heh... No la... Just kidding... Hope she can drive well tmr... Talking about tmr... Haiz... Tmr then say ba... Dun want think too much... Ok la... This time really go off le... if internet hang again too bad liao... I haven shower neh... Haha... Cya!!

Mood : Stress
Too much to handle

Today i spend the whooooooooooooole day doing project. I finish my login page! YEAH! ONLY LOGIN PAGE LA! The rest of the page so bloody hard to do sia. No masterpage somemre... WTH... NVM... I create a masterpage but the bloody layout is so complicated that i do it for half a day and still cannot make it. Fuck sia... y is it sooooooo complicated. Especially when the project is at the deadline le. Zzzzzzz... Stupid! Asshole! Damn! Fuck! *Beep* *Censored Content*... *Pant* *Pant* Ok... Enough scolding... Soooooo tired now... I dun have the motivation to do now le... Going ask the mmt team refine it to make it less complicated! 1 last wk leh... HOW!?!?!?!? Sian la... *yawn* I am yawning continuously now... Until i start to cry liao... *sob* I really ought to cry now... I see my grades flying away... I failed my napfa test now napfa portal... Haiz... I really want to destress now... But what can i do to destress? Aiya... Forget it la... Pek Chek liao... Dun want do liao... Tmr then say liao... Wookay! Dun want blog liao... Gonna get charge for copyright but then she cannot cos she owe me dunno how much liao... hahaha... Cya!

Mood : Pek Chek
No matter how much i hate myself... I am myself...

Yeah man... I am BACK... After emo 1 day... Still quite sian leh... But then no point thinking about it so much. I am myself. If you cannot accept me as i am i cannot do anything about it. I wun force you and disturb u anymore. I dun mind being alone again. Yeah. Though i might need time to adjust to being alone again. Haha... "Wookay" This word suddenly comes to my mind... haha... Enough of this... *slap myself* This time really back... Eh... Project time! Yeah... Suppose to be... But then i realise the things mmt send me is too little to work on. I can only do alittle. I guess that it liao... Confirm cannot finish le... Wk 11 le leh... 1 last wk. I am sure alot of ppl are chionging their project also... I am still in mess right now. Got alot of things to say but not for blog. haha... Thats all...

Mood : Mess up

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Name: Ng Zhi Ming
Age: 24+
Date Of Birth: 17/08/1989
School: NTU

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